The Slightest Bit
by Zana Banana
Summary: All he had to do was convince himself that she wasn’t right for him by making a list of the problems they would face if they got together.


**The Slightest Bit**

Reason 1: She was way too young for him.

What was she anyway, like fourteen?

He remembered something about seventeen. Yeah, that seemed right. She wasn't even legal yet! Technically, if she _really_ wanted to be spiteful, she could send him to jail, and he absolutely refused to befriend some lonely former truck driver named Bubba.

He was seated in front of a machine at the local arcade, carelessly passing time—well, maybe not so carelessly. The video game in question wasn't doing a whole lot in terms of distracting him, much to his dismay.

Certain thoughts had been plaguing him since the beginning of the fifth Iron Fist, keeping him up hours he'd much rather be sleeping. He'd quickly become fed up with struggling with his subconscious, nearly begging (but never going through with it, because if he begged he would be a lesser man, _obviously_) it to stop tormenting him with reminders of _her_.

Finally unable to stand the humiliation any longer, he came up with a foolproof strategy (well, not so much him as the self-help book he'd shamelessly stolen from Xiaoyu's bedroom while 'looking for a pencil, he swore') to rid himself of the consistent mental nagging. All he had to do was convince himself that she wasn't right for him by making a list of the problems they would face if they got together.

Easy enough.

Reason 2: She was related to Kazama in some way.

It should've deterred him immediately.

Yet he still managed to find his way to each of her matches.

Well, in all fairness, they _could_ be distant relatives, not necessarily siblings. He'd been too distracted to ask about the identities of her parents. And damn, he _might_ be able to interrogate Kazama if he would just stay in one place for longer than an hour!

As a last resort, of course. Like he _wanted_ to talk to that pompous bastard.

Reason 3: She was cocky, headstrong, and stubborn.

As was he, but therein was the predicament.

Opposites attract. They were too much alike.

He could easily imagine the two of them arguing for days on end over a dispute so trivial an old woman would wag a finger at them and recount the good old days when young people stayed together for the kids.

And yelling at her, hearing her scream back at him, seeing her face scrunch up in frustration, and watching her pace erratically and throw around angry hand gestures couldn't possibly be any fun.

Nope. Not in the _slightest_ bit.

It was at that point he realized he had a damp lollipop stick dangling from the corner of his mouth. The candy itself had long ago been dissolved and consumed, yet he'd apparently neglected to dispose of the stick. It was quite soggy and beginning to bend.

Gross.

He flung the stick into a nearby trash receptacle with a flick of his wrist, wondering why he hadn't noticed the absence of the once prominent flavor sooner.

Oh, that's right. The list.

He turned his attention back to the video game, only to find his character had been killed by a three-headed monster. He grumbled a few choice words under his breath as the slanted screen darkened and taunted him about his recent loss.

Reason 4: What would she want with a guy like him?

Really.

As if she'd actually be interested in the first place.

Sure, he was handsome, had a great sense of humor, was a master of Tae Kwon Do, and owned a motorcycle—basics in attraction—but he was also some other, not-so-good things, like a former criminal.

Getting mixed up with him would surely put her in danger at some point. People often sought him out, rightfully accusing him of foul play and demanding a refund of the money he and his gang had hustled from them—at which time he'd pound their faces in, but still.

She seemed like the adventurous type. Maybe, just maybe, she would actually _enjoy_ the constant risk. She could even fight alongside him.

Yeah, okay. It was supposed to be a list of _cons_.

"Gah!"

Died again.

He shifted his position, reaching into his pocket for more quarters.

Reason 5: Her hair was too short.

...What kind of reason was that?

A completely ridiculous one. It could _grow_.

He sighed.

"Stupid list."

Self-help? More like no-help.

Why did Xiaoyu buy that useless book, anyway?


End file.
